"Stand by Me"

"When the night has come,and the land is dark.I will not be afraid,
Stand by Me". Fear has a very ugly side,and the darkness is over whelming at times.
I have recently made a couple of posts about my past.This post is about "Me",My past and present
life in the States and Thailand.I have given much thought over the last couple of days about just "Who has stood by me".
    Time as measured in years,is hard to define,at least for me.
   My "Posts" about Friends long gone haunt me everyday of my life.
 I keep wondering just what might have been,if I had made different life choice's.
  My ever present thoughts of the "Wrong Choices" made in my past years have dealt me many crushing blows.
 Everybody regrets past failures at some point in their life(if they really care).
 As a adult in my"Golden Years",I "Own" all my past,the good and bad.
   As children (at least  most of us),were taught that friendship was a "Gift from God",and  if we were lucky,they(friends) could be counted on one hand.
 Whoever told me ,was very correct!
       My early life was difficult to say the least.I spent my first 18 years living in foster homes,boarding schools(Google "Briscoe Memorial School,Kent Washington") and with my mother(six years).
 I worked two jobs as a high school student,live at the YMCA during my senior year(I was 18 at that time) managed to set school records in track /cross-country and maintain a B+ GPA.
   My early years brought me close to three boys my age(Dave E.,Steve H, Steve M.).
    If they had not been there for me during 8-12 grades,none of the above would have happened.
 My friends "Stood by Me".
 As I grew away from them and move on in my adult life,other friends came and went.
       This is where my "Wrong Choices" began.
I have no real idea how or why I went "South",but it was on a very fast fright train of self abuse.
  Everything I held dear in life(friends,family,self respect) went out the window.
 From age 19 to 36(Feb. 09 1986),I was a case of "Self will run riot".
 The quantities of drugs,booze,petty crime and loss of self respect was rampant.
  My only "Friend" was my "Dog" (Dogs),just could not "Man Up" to what was real,and what was utterly false.
     Again,this brings me to "Who stood by Me".
Dave,Kim,Faith,Chuck,Tim,Fred all "Stood by Me",only to be run over by out of control self indulgence on my part.
 I was lost.
 The resulting reward for my inability to "Stand by my friends" & family during this crucible of drugs & booze was "Standing Alone".
   Really,I can't fault any of my friends for giving up on me.
      So,what happened to change my life?
I,like many others found the bottom of the gutter.
  My friends were long gone by that time(1986).
    If any of my readers have been where I have been,then you know just what kind of pile of crap I was living in.
    How hard is it to start over?
I can honestly say it was/has been a very long and hard road.
 My rewards for learning to live clean & sober
have been many.
 Twenty seven years have come and gone since that day(02/09/1986) I began my journey that has brought me here to Thailand.
   Life is still a struggle(as it is for all of us),but being married,retired and having a family(both here in Thailand & States) is a just reward.
 "Who Stood by me" over these last 27 years?
 My Sister first and foremost.
   My Family,Jim H,Dan,Rick,Steve,Wayne,Muggs.(Carrie,Jamie,Matt,Andy)
The "Family" "Stood by me",until I could stand on my own again.
 "Stand by Me"
Luckkyybuddha999.
 
 

Remembering my brother Steve,

Life is at times brutal,and finding a ray of sunshine is very hard.Today i went to the "Wat" to do "Tamboon"/Merit for Steve,who passed away a year ago.My brother was my "Keeper"& friend,teacher and also the "Guardian of our family.I slept with his picture last night to keep his memories close to my spirit.I was lucky to have had the chance to tell my brother how much he meant to me,and say"I love you" at our last meeting before returning to Thailand almost two years ago.That was a "Gift" I will always cherish.Brothers fight and other normal things boys & men do as they grow up,but in the end we were always "Brothers"!I could go on about how many great things he accomplished in his life,but suffice it to be said,he was a friend,brother,father and much more.All my love Steve.Luckkyybuddha999

The "Goose"

"Goose".

I suppose my ability to find some "Air Time" had more bearing on that particular name.

Skiing during the late sixties through the mid seventies was a era of experimentation,equipment evolution and "Sex,Drugs & Rock & Roll".MT.Baker,WA.I first got acquainted with this wonderful Ski area in 1963/64.I was at that time age 14.If my math is correct,that is almost fifty years ago(49 ).This particular post is not about Thailand or my S.E. Asia adventures,but my short life as a professional skier.My journey into the wild and crazy beginning of "Hot Dog" Skiing started at this Ski Area in 1969.Skiing,like all sports has its beginning years and progresses from that point on.The time period of 1964 through 1984 spawned what now is a Olympic and professional sport called"Free Style" Skiing.I was there at the very beginning.I was never the first guy to show off on a pair of skis,but during my few short years competing and doing movies,I got my "15 minutes of fame".The "Moniker Goose",was given to me by my Canadian friends early in my skiing career.My last name is "Swan",but that had little to do with the nickname of  "Goose".

I can certainly attest to the fact that almost 100% of the early Free Style pioneers trained primarily in the bars.

I guess you could say we had no clue about being professional Athletes,but we all had one thing in common,that was"Get on the mountain,and avoid responsibility at all costs".My "Thing" was jumping off Cliffs,Over Big trees,into Big Trees and whatever it took to get my picture and name spread around in the rather small arena of early free style skiing.I believe some of my jumps were well over  100' foot high(Think  of jumping off the tenth floor of a building).My ability to survive these jumps was almost  something of a "Legend".I got my first chance at being in the movies in 1970.I was living and teaching skiing in Sun Valley ID.Dick Barrymore and Warren Miller were at that time the two major players in the Ski Movies.I had recently done some 'Still Photography work" with a local guy,who passed on my name to Barrymore.This is where the "True Story" of "Free Style Skiing Started".I hung out with three fellow instructors,John Cruse,Teddy McCoy,David Wheeler"Wheels".The four of us,were always on the prowl for a "Show Down" with the "K2" Ski Team,who I might add,were the "Baddest of the Bad on Ski's".Sun Valley,was the "Harvard of Skiing" in 1970,and  if you wanted to splash your name on the billboards of pro skiing,then you had to do it on "Baldy".The "Who's Who of Pro Skiing strutted their stuff daily on MT.Baldy.

I am going to backtrack just a bit here.The "Movie" part of this story is just about Barrymore and  the four guys looking to get a "Break" into the game.We got lucky with meeting Barrymore and doing a"Shot" for him.Dick approached me at the Pioneer Bar in Ketchum  early in January of 1970 and ask if i would like to ski for him.Well,that was the dream of my life coming true.I of course said "Yes"!Dick had mentioned the "Still Shots that Bill Rouse had taken of John Cruse and me doing 150 foot flips over the "Pump House" at the bottom of Cold Springs Chair Lift,and ask if we would do it for him also.I answered that question very fast"NO Way"!That 150 foot jump was a "Flat landing",and neither Cruse or me wanted any part of another spine crusher like that.I suggested "The Rock",which sits directly on the right side of the chair lift  on the Ketchum side of Baldy(first chair lift).Dick just stared at me like i was nuts.Well,maybe their was some truth in that assessment,but i knew it was a "Good  Jump"and nobody had ever done it(80 Ft).Their was no way I was going to leave out my skiing partners(Dave"Wheels" Teddy or John).I told Dick he got four for the price of one.

That "Rock" started what is now know as "Free Style Skiing",as it led to another Cliff Jump on Cold Springs(100+).The four of us did both jumps in two shootings in two days(I went first on both),which led us to a meeting with Dick(Dinner at Dave's  Condo to view the clips a couple days latter).It was during dinner that I brought up the idea of a "Shootout" against the "K2" team on Exhibition(Sun Valley's) most challenging slope.Dick thought about it for maybe thirty seconds and said"Great idea",lets do it!.Dick Barrymore was the real founder"God Father of Free Style Skiing competition".I played a small part(very small)in formation of this skiing discipline.During my four years of competition, I skied in four World Championships,never finishing out of the top twenty five.I also skied in a number of movies for Barrymore,Warren miller,Jim Rice and others.Skiing,like any sport has a very small tip at the top,nobody stays there long.

Today's pro skiers our far better than anything I would have dreamt of being.I did however play a small part in its history."Goose Swan"

 

 

MEMORIES OF KIM

Si Muang Mai Circa 2008.

 

Morning coffee is my favorite time of the day.

I do most of my productive and creative thinking during this time.The above picture is from my Thai Family's Rice farm close to the Laotian border.I was visiting during a very stressful time,as my father-in law "Boon" was dying.

Boon was a very good man,father and above all "Jai dee mak".Boon died at 6 Pm on Jan.2,2008.I was holding his hand when he went to Buddha.

It hurt,and it still does.

This brings me to "Kim".

I am now 63 years old .It has been 38 years and some very hard and difficult  times since i last

saw my friend Kim.Life is very strange at times,and the writing of this particular post is no different.

I am a part time blogger,who mostly writes about life in Thailand and my Thai family.

Thirty eight years ago,i had another family of friends.

Kim,Faith,Dave,Chuck,Tim and Fred to name just a few of them.

I will not include their last names,as it is not relevant to this post.

The fact i am even writing about Kim,is in it's self a miracle.

The "Miracle" being that my friend Faith emailed me after 30 plus years of being estranged.

I can't write this post without including Faith,as Kim and Faith were inseparable,and always will be in my mind.Faith ask me to write my memories of Kim and some other related people and events during the all to short time i  had with my friend(s).

I need to back track and give you some background on myself,as it is relevant to this story.

I was 23 years old when i met Kim,

I was at that time a professional Skier and world class "Rounder",that would be putting it kindly(Rounder).Kim was a world class Dentist(Periodontics) and associate professor at the University of Washington in Seattle Washington.

The one connecting factor in all my relationships with the above people,was Skiing and Kim.

The day i met this wonderful woman(Kim),is one i will never forget.

After a day of skiing at MT.Baker(Washington State),i stopped at the Chandelier Chalet (Bar & restaurant).hoping to get a few free drinks,and maybe a couch to crash on.

I was broke,no home,car or anything but my few belongings and Skiing equipment.

Being 23 and always on the lookout for a lady with a kind heart,car,money and lodging,well Kim was

"Manna" from heaven.

Kim was a very petite,Blond, very pretty,and had the most radiating smile.

I forgot to mention the Silver Corvette sitting in the parking lot(her Vett).

The first words Kim spoke to me were"I really like the way you Ski,can i buy you a drink"!

I just won the door prize.

My intentions were nothing more then "taking it to the wall",just the way i lived day to day.

Kim,took no time in offering me a place to crash(Seattle WA),which i readily accepted.

This is where the real story begins.

Ms.Kim and her friend Faith were way ahead of me.

I do believe after so many years of thinking about that first chance encounter with Kim,it was me who was being led down the primrose path.

I did indeed find a very nice  place to crash,pretty lady,and Faith came along with the package.

I was "Hooked" for the rest of my life.

I am not easily swayed by "Alpha Type" people,as i prefer to stay in control.

Being the big fish in the small pond was my intentions.As we all know."The best intentions" seem to go awry when we least expect it.I guess you might have noticed that the friends listed above are all "Male",and like myself they were befriended by Ms. Kim(except Chuck).Kim was the "Super Nova" of attracting admirers,who became loyal friends of both Kim & faith.

It would take me months of writing to even scratch the surface of my relationships with both Kim & Faith.

I have lost friends,family members,and close associates in my life,and "Memories" is all i have left.

I remember the great times we had skiing,dinners,parties and doing what good friends do together.

My life is better because of both Kim & Faith & other friends.

Kim died in 1975.I was 25 years old and left with a very big hole in my soul.

From the very first chance encounter with her,my life has never been the same.

When Kim left us,Faith took the leadership role of our family of friends.

I am indebted to all my past friends for their generosity,love,companionship and memories.

Faith ask me to write about my surgery and recovery.

When i said that Kim was leading me down the "Primrose Path",i was not making it up.

I was only at her home for a short period of time before she volunteered me for a full facial reconstruction at the University of Washington Dental school.

It seems they needed a willing,healthy(non-litigating) volunteer for a experimental procedure.

I was it!

I now believe that Kim "Hooked" me,knowing just what i was going to "Volunteer For".

It was impossible to say "No" to either Kim or faith(hey,i am writing this rather long post after thirty years of estrangement)..Go Figure!.I spent almost four months every week doing the pre surgery routine and work ups at the Dental school.

The day of the surgery fell on a Saturday,and Ms. Kim informed me she could not bear to watch a friend "Bleed",so she went skiing.

I on the other hand spent 11 hours on the operating table,four days in "ICU" and damn near died.

My recovery was spent on Faith's huge couch overlooking LK.Washington sipping Demerol through a small straw(it"the Demerol" was repossessed within a short period of time.

As it has been many years since that surgery,my year plus spent fully recovering from the surgery is "Foggy",but i spent time in Vancouver B.C. with Kim's Sister Susan remodeling her downstairs basement and drinking "BC Apple Cider"12% Alcohol" through a straw.

Kim & faith came to visit and go skiing at Whistler MT. during my rehab.

Skiing was the glue that kept all of us together.

Friendships our built on shared interest,and the mountains and skiing  were our main interest.

Life was fun during that short period of time(1973-1982).

Kim,was only with us a very short period of time(30 months for me)longer for Faith,but not long enough.I left Seattle and faith in 1981 for the last time,as far as my relationships with my past friends.

It is now "32" years later,Memories of Kim and Faith and my friends,still hold a special place in my heart.

Luckkyybuddha999(James A. Swan)

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Dos Amigos"

"Amicitiam finis temporis"
Friendship is the "True Blood" of life.
 I can say without a doubt,that the fact i am here in Thailand "Alive",is only because of family & friends.
  Life is a "Bitch"@ times,and only a will to survive and the help of family & friends will see you through the storm.
 I am writing this post for a number of reasons.
The first reason,and without number two even coming close is"Your friends & family" our seven thousand miles away if you our from the (USA).
  The truth of "packing up & fleeing" for a exotic retirement to S.E. Asia/Thailand,is you leave behind your most valuable assets"Family & friends" behind.
 The Internet & Mobile phones & Skype.......just does not"Compute"!
If you think hauling ass to another(very far away) country is a easy thing to do,then you really need to
reevaluate your common sense.
 I have lived without my family & friends for almost four years(emails,phone & two short visits home).....It is a "hard road"!
  My buddy sitting on the "Harley" is sorely missed.
    I am American first and foremost in all things that really matter.
The point of this post is,"you will get "Home Sick",miss your comfort zones,and be in cultural shock for a very long time.
 My friend Jim was a,buddy & solid rock when things were going "South" for me in a number of personal areas of my life.
 Yea,he is only a "email/phone call away",but he is not just a 15 mile quick trip,more like 7K miles.
 My friend speaks English,eats American food,follows American news...hell,he is "All-American" in every real sense...
I am "Farang"(foreigner) to my Thai family & friends(I really don't have Thai friends),and the other 60 million Thais call me"Farang".
 My family call me "UJ"(Uncle Jim) & my friend call's me "Jimbo".
The life of being a expat is nowhere close to what i thought it would be.
 Is it awful?
No.
Thailand is a wonderful country,but it is as far away as "MARS" is from Earth in culture,and your(my) comfort zones.
 I have written in the past about the challenges of making the "leap of faith"& hauling ass away from everything you hold dearly,choose wisely.
              "Periculum et praemia nostri optimi".....If you have read this far,then "Google Translate" can do the "Latin/English" ....Chok dee mak!
 Luckkyybuddha999

Back to the past

Lords "American Pie" "SS" 2012  Camaro "HOT"!

I guess this picture is worth all the money & Time(three years) to see her happy smile.
 The(USCIS) after many thousands of dollars &
years granted Lord a "K-3" Visa.
  The fact that it took so long,and cost so much money,prevented Lord & I from doing anything but a two week visit.
   I am happy to say that my American family
treated my Thai wife with great respect and two wonderful weeks of adventures.
 I live(used to) in Bellingham WA. about 80 miles north of Seattle.
   The Pacific Northwest is beautiful and Spring was in full swing.
Having the chance to introduce my wife to another culture was fantastic.
Thai people just do not understand how large America is,or the real difference's in a Christian versus
Buddhist culture.
   I promised my wife four years ago to bring her to America.
The trouble associated with keeping that promise,has been truly brutal.
 If any of my readers our considering getting a "K-3" Visa for their spouse,then be warned!
   As i get back into the swing of regular updates to my blog,i will be updating the current(IRS)
"FBAR" rules(concerning past due fillings).
Their is at this date some very good news for those of us who missed filling 'Fbars" in the past.
  As i said,i will follow up soon with the current situation.
 That "SS" Camaro...was way "HOT"!
 Chok dee mak,
Luckkyybuddha999

Freedom

Our you free to choose religion,government,taxes,privacy and your right to make basic choices in your everyday life?If the answer is "NO",or I am not sure,then maybe it is time to reevaluate your priorities.I figured out years ago,that my rights were going south.You do not need a very high "IQ" to see the "Writing on the Wall".Freedom,is not without costs.How much does it cost?The answer to that question is staring you right in the face.If you our unhappy and keep living the "Same old way",you will get the same unhappy results.Money,of course plays a big part of this answer.If somebody told you you could live a relatively affordable life style on a budget close to your current social security payment,what would your next question be?Where?The "Answer",anyplace other than your current situation.I live in a country that has affordable walk-in health care(out of pocket),my social security check is not hit with the government medicare deductions(and if you have a small benefit,that is huge!).This same country allows me religious freedom.I have cheap Internet,cable,water,electricity,and public transportation is dirt cheap,including taxi's.I am living in a modern city with every possible comfort you can think of.Again,how much does "Freedom cost"?The answer is"Not anywhere close to what you our now currently spending to just scrape by".I ask you this simple question,"can you live on a thousand dollars a month",and pay for all the above mentioned needs?If the answer is yes,then you can stay"Home"!If on the other hand,you answer "No",then it is time to find a place where you can enjoy your remaining years in relative comfort.There is a number of places on this earth to relocate,some better than others.I chose Thailand,but Vietnam,Cambodia,Malaysia,Burma,Philippines,all provide a cheaper option .It does not take hundreds of thousands of dollars to retire.The people promoting mass retirement budgets,have their own interest in mind"Getting your retirement money"invested in what works for their bottom line(profit)!I suggest you evaluate your "Cash-Out " options,and ask yourself how much money have you earned being fully invested(brokerages,IRA,401k,savings),then do the "Math".Thailand banks pay up to 4% interest on savings.Vietnam banks pay up to 14% interest,and the list goes on!It takes some courage to put your money in a another countries banking system,but it can be done relatively safely.Living in S.E. Asia,allows easy access to multiple countries banking systems,all which can be accessed online.I can fly to (HCM)Saigon,Vietnam for less then a 100.00 US Dollars(1 hour flight).I can open savings/atm/debit in that country(they want your business & money).The same is true for most all other countries in S.E. Asia.Yes,their our some restrictions involved,but most can be safely navigated.I like having "Options" ,and living in this corner of the world provides plenty of options.In the attached picture,i am standing next to my new car.I have a home,a Thai wife,and at least four hospitals within 30 min. drive of my residence.I play golf,go shopping and do everything that i could do in America,except for one major difference"COSTS"!I would be eating at a "Senior center if i lived in America".I would not be able to just walk into a hospital and have a expert doctor examine me,prescribe medications,and not need a appointment,insurance,and co-pay.The fact of the matter is,if i lived in America today,"Destitution" would be my status.I support a family of four,and can do "All" of the above mentioned,for under a "1000.00" US Dollars a month.If you our doing the math,then multiply by your remaining months to live(average mortality rate for your gender & year you were born).I am suppose to make it until age "82",but i figure it is better to be realistic(75-79) Male,and family genetic history.That monthly amount comes in at around "180" months x 1000=180,000 US Dollars.Think you can just retire in America on that figure?Think again!The answer is"Only outside of America".I have that amount in a annuity that pays me every month for twenty years,I have my social security(small,but with a cola attached),and i have savings that amount to high five figures.I can retire,survive,and enjoy my life in S. E. Asia.I am not even close to middle class in America.In Thailand,I am "High Middle Class",and treated as such.What is the risk of living outside your comfort zone?The answer is(no more so,than if you stay put!)I can go broke anyplace in the world,but i do want to live as well,as possible before I do!I also want "FREEDOM".Chok Dee Mak.Luckkybuddha999"When governments fear the people, there is liberty. When the people fear the government, there is tyranny."

-Thomas Jefferson